Uncategorized · Writing Life

Writing Journal Entries From A Moody Beginner

Well hello there. It’s been a long, long time. You’re just as lovely as you used to be……….oh, sorry. Got a Conway Twitty love song stuck in my head. Don’t worry, I’m still sane. Promise. Now if I start singing “Lay you down” then you can worry.

I missed blogging last week for various reasons, but mostly because I’ve been frantically trying to find a schedule groove to make the most of writing so I will be able to meet my short term goal of 50,000 words by the end of the month. CampNanoWriMo has been…………an experience.

I have been keeping a Writing Journal to have a record of what does and doesn’t work for me during this intensive challenge of meeting a huge goal in a very short period of time. There have been discoveries, rants, musings, and moments of hysteria. It is a wonder that this is the only type of record I have. By the end of the month, I will be lucky not to have been thrown in the hoosegow for lesser-than-lady-like-behavior.

notanotherword

WARNING: THE REMAINDER OF THIS POST WILL CONTAIN SOME FOUL LANGUAGE. DAMN I HATE HAVING TO WRITE DISCLAIMERS LIKE THIS.  

I thought I would share a few gems from my journal to give you an idea of what’s been goin’ though this brain of mine. Here’s a great one:

Journal entry #1: (Summarized)

While I’m in a gawd awful mood everyone around me is all like “look what I can do” and “My life is so freaking awesome, lemme tell ya about it…..” Yeah, so let’s just say at this point I’m ready to boob punch some people. After a while the good witch in my brain appeared and told me I needed to adjust my attitude.

goodorbadbitch

Journal entry #2: (About being part of a cabin at camp NanoWriMo)

“The thing is, no one is interacting with one another. It’s like they post something about themselves, and totally ignore each others comments. I haven’t tried to private message them because at this point I’m just like wtf is the point? Lol. Why are these people in a cabin if they aren’t going to interact? So from now on I’m just going to post the most off the wall craziest shit I can think of. Let’s see if I can get a reaction, shall we?”

Journal entry #3: (Rant about my babysitter)

“……….God forbid I’m not suffering or she’s not suffering, or hell, let’s all have a huge suffrage party. It’s always gotta be the hard way with her, and if it’s not difficult then it must not be worth her time.”

(Toward the end of the rant it seemed I was writing directly to her instead of about her. I typed with fury, my keyboard was smoking and flames burst around me while wicked horns sprouted from my head. The good witch died, sleeping somewhere with the fishes. No prince will be kissing her back to life. This ain’t no fairy tale. Shit just got real.)

shitcuddle

So now we are around half way through the journal. Keep in mind I journaled many things along the way, the entries above are only touching on a few things I’ve been thinking. There are positive and inspirational things in there somewhere, but hell, I’ve needed a laugh for a while now. I’m also finally getting settled into making writing a priority and things have calmed down a lot since those journal entries. I’m not sayin’ I’m sane or anything. Don’t even think it. I’ll totally deny it.

On a serious note: Keeping a writing journal was one of the best things I have done. It has been invaluable to journal before and after I tackle my WIP (work in progress).

I hope everyone has a wonderful week and takes time to not take life so seriously.

What things do you do to encourage yourself along the way to reaching a major life goal?

 

Uncategorized

Through The Writing Wringer

I guess some people are able to go into writing no-holds barred and some give themselves the freedom to feel. It just comes out in the writing. Let go and just write. JUST WRITE.

For these well intentioned people, many who are dear friends, I  want to say IT IS NOT “JUST WRITING TO ME!” The thing is, I know that many of them feel the same way.

I am 3 days into entering Camp NanoWriMo in which my word count goal is 50,000 in 30 days. It is a great way to motivate, knowing one has a deadline to meet; however, I made the mistake or maybe it is a blessing in disguise of picking a story that hits a little too close to home.

This is my brother John. He died in a tragic car accident when I was only 9 years old. Pardon the shirtlessness, but we only have a few pictures of him and he was a country boy. Lol

Seriously, though, this story I’m writing is a time travel fiction story of faith and inspiration. It is not religious (but has a few religious elements weaved in where appropriate. Not preachy), but a story of hope and love. In short, unlike anything I have ever written. The first chapter just so happens to incorporate my brother as a minor but key character of the story. I did this because I wanted to honor his memory and never got to say goodbye. I have some humor weaved in of course with sibling banter and a few serious but heart wrenching discussions.

I never knew it would be this hard. I just wanted to write about something that matters and came from the heart. I wanted the time back with him that I never had and to hug him tight and let him know how much he means to me. Meanwhile, 23 years later, here I am trying not to bawl my eyes out while writing this story. I’m trying to JUST WRITE and not feel.

It doesn’t work, though. Even for someone as stubborn and determined like myself. I never got the chance to grieve. I was too busy being a little adult and keeping it together. Now I feel like a kid all over again. Vulnerable to loss and angry because I refuse to let go and cry.

This is truly a labor of love for me, and I am beginning to realize that I have to give myself permission to grieve and feel in addition to reliving the happy memories if I want this story to truly resonate with readers. I know that everyone will walk away with their own message and understanding of it, but if I can just convey how precious every moment is and convince one person to push past fears on to having faith in themselves I will feel it was worth every tear.

So forgive me friends, if I seem unconcerned with word count and the fact that I am running a little behind in staying on track to achieve my goal. I may even seem a little bitter or angry. But like I’ve posted earlier today on Facebook, this story is really putting me through it. I am not giving up on it no matter how much I am forced to feel. It is a story that needs to be told.

Finally, I would like to say a heartfelt thanks for all the support and encouragement I am getting from fellow writers, authors, friends, and family. Even readers who like this post because they decided to visit my blog or it showed up on your reader. Thanks. You all are amazing and wonderful people and I hope great things come your way.

Uncategorized

Through The Writing Wringer

I guess some people are able to go into writing no-holds barred and some give themselves the freedom to feel. It just comes out in the writing. Let go and just write. JUST WRITE.

For these well intentioned people, many who are dear friends, I  want to say IT IS NOT “JUST WRITING TO ME!” The thing is, I know that many of them feel the same way.

I am 3 days into entering Camp NanoWriMo in which my word count goal is 50,000 in 30 days. It is a great way to motivate, knowing one has a deadline to meet; however, I made the mistake or maybe it is a blessing in disguise of picking a story that hits a little too close to home.

This is my brother John. He died in a tragic car accident when I was only 9 years old. Pardon the shirtlessness, but we only have a few pictures of him and he was a country boy. Lol

John

Seriously, though, this story I’m writing is a time travel fiction story of faith and inspiration. It is not religious (but has a few religious elements weaved in where appropriate. Not preachy), but a story of hope and love. In short, unlike anything I have ever written. The first chapter just so happens to incorporate my brother as a minor but key character of the story. I did this because I wanted to honor his memory and never got to say goodbye. I have some humor weaved in of course with sibling banter and a few serious but heart wrenching discussions.

I never knew it would be this hard. I just wanted to write about something that matters and came from the heart. I wanted the time back with him that I never had and to hug him tight and let him know how much he means to me. Meanwhile, 23 years later, here I am trying not to bawl my eyes out while writing this story. I’m trying to JUST WRITE and not feel.

It doesn’t work, though. Even for someone as stubborn and determined like myself. I never got the chance to grieve. I was too busy being a little adult and keeping it together. Now I feel like a kid all over again. Vulnerable to loss and angry because I refuse to let go and cry.

This is truly a labor of love for me, and I am beginning to realize that I have to give myself permission to grieve and feel in addition to reliving the happy memories if I want this story to truly resonate with readers. I know that everyone will walk away with their own message and understanding of it, but if I can just convey how precious every moment is and convince one person to push past fears on to having faith in themselves I will feel it was worth every tear.

So forgive me friends, if I seem unconcerned with word count and the fact that I am running a little behind in staying on track to achieve my goal. I may even seem a little bitter or angry. But like I’ve posted earlier today on Facebook, this story is really putting me through it. I am not giving up on it no matter how much I am forced to feel. It is a story that needs to be told.

Finally, I would like to say a heartfelt thanks for all the support and encouragement I am getting from fellow writers, authors, friends, and family. Even readers who like this post because they decided to visit my blog or it showed up on your reader. Thanks. You all are amazing and wonderful people and I hope great things come your way.