This year has been a roller coaster. Not just for me–for many of my friends and family, for just about everyone I know. Then there is the gratitude that comes with knowing we are all not alone. We can laugh together. We are able to still hug our loved ones though the doubts. And those who have lost loved ones understand another’s loss–they send encouraging thoughts, offer their help, and when there are no words…simply pray healing for that person’s heart. This is all derived from a sense of caring, compassion, and being motivated to help one another knowing we are all, in some way, broken but not defeated.
The morning after my first book signing, I awoke at 2am to journal. Journalism is nothing new. The insomnia has to be fed in positive and constructive ways, and sitting down with pen and paper to write down things running through my head is a natural occurrence.
What was different that morning, however, was waking up in the middle of the night feeling an overwhelming sense of gratefulness. I curled up in my robe with tea, and wrote in my journal, teary-eyed and smiling. I knew this type of ‘knowing everything is going to be okay’ was beyond anything I could describe here on the blog. My heart beat with meaning, with satisfying love, and with contentment… is how I can best describe it.
An author from whom I had bought several of her books had endured the death of her husband only the night before my book signing. I didn’t want to type my condolences in some thread on Facebook (though I am grateful for those who did), but I wanted to hug her. I wrote about my first book signing, too, and what a wonderful experience it was. Not bragging, but simply seeing those in the community come out to buy my book. To talk with me about my book, and to see, in action, what beautiful people surround me on this journey. I was overwhelmed with love and happiness at what I thought would be a room of empty chairs.
~ Morning of book signing photo, as I wrote out an outline on flashcards for the event. ~
My sister helped to take a few pictures as friends, family, and new acquaintances approached the signing table. I had a great time speaking with individuals one-on-one. I’m not one for sitting around when socializing, especially as the guest-of-honor at an event.
Look! No sweater to cover up those arms! Insecurities, be damned.
People showed up. More people than I ever thought possible. It wasn’t the mosh pit of a concert (thank goodness), but it was a gathering of smiling faces, a pleasant reunion with some I haven’t seen in quite a while, where even the local Italian bakery my family and I frequent, made a delicious cake for the event as soon as they found out about it. My husband and daughter surprised me with the cake only moments before I spoke to the small crowd.
I hugged my husband and daughter when I saw the gift they had bought for me, and later laughed when my husband told me the pastry chef and bakery owner asked him what message to put on the cake…this was his reply: “You’re asking the wrong person. My wife is the writer and would know what words to put on there.”
As you can see, the message is simple, but still, looking at it now, it makes me smile.
The stack of books of my new novel, Serendipity Summer, soon dwindled down to small stack as people offered warm smiles, questions, book chat, and I got to catch up with a couple of good friends. My family gave hugs and congratulations as their kids were hanging out with my young daughter in the childrens part of the library. Though not everyone was blood related, I felt at home as I handed each person who showed their support by buying my book a copy of Serendipity Summer with a bookmark and the pen I signed it with. The potpourri mason jars, once filled with pens, emptied by the end of the event.
The front book on top of the table, beside the business cards, is my original proof copy. I read the excerpt from it, and the big jar in the back, was for the giveaway of the self-spa gift set raffle.
It was a wonderful time of celebration and beautiful memories. The morning after the event my husband asked when I had woken up. He always seems to know when something is off or if I’m going through an emotional time.
My daughter was shuffling around in her pj’s, petting the dog and yawning while my husband was turning omelets on the stove, with a spatula, for breakfast. I had a cup of coffee this time and looked at him with watery eyes as I wrapped my hands around the warm cup.
“What’s wrong?” He asked.
He stood holding the spatula, eyebrows crinkled, while my daughter and dog began to fill my lap, offering kidlet hugs and puppy kisses.
I chocked up but finally got out what I wanted to say.
“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”
He turned the heat down on the stove eye and started towards us.
I nodded as he embraced all of us in a big hug.